16 November 2014…the day Laura said goodbye to life

My beautiful daughter Laura. Seven years ago. May you rest in peace, the peace that you couldn’t find when you were alive.

Part of a message Laura sent to Mubarak on 6 November.

“For the only thing I ever wanted from you was for you to lock me up inside your heart and throw away the key and never let me go away from you! That is the truth for in my heart you have always been…”

00:13 Laura wrote her farewell note to Mubarak, posting it later in the day with the posting option ‘only me’.

Laura was listening to this music at 00:50 (Not the original video)

What’sApp messages between Laura and Mubarak in the early hours on the morning of her death.

2014/11/16, 12:07:47 AM: Noura: 💗

2014/11/16, 12:10:43 AM: Mubarak Bin Fahad: My baby

2014/11/16, 12:15:42 AM: Noura: My Heart, my Love and my Soul

2014/11/16, 12:16:15 AM: Mubarak Bin Fahad: I miss you

Posted at 1:42 on her Facebook, again using the ‘only me’ option.

On Laura’s phone:

12:10

15:39

2014/11/16, 3:43:56 PM: Mubarak Bin Fahad: Yes

I remember that afternoon so clearly, standing on the patio watching a long-crested eagle, on and off for hours, as it perched and swooped in the wetlands in front of my apartment, in search of prey.

I called my husband Rod to join me on the patio, handing him the pair of binoculars. He struggled to walk as he was in almost unbearable pain, the last stage of cancer, but he wanted to be with me to see this species of eagle that we had never seen before. After a few minutes, he hobbled back inside…

I continued to watch the eagle, trying to find comfort in nature, as I would often do.

As dusk approached it was time for the eagle to go home and as it flew overhead, casting a dark shadow over me, I felt a sense of foreboding.

Two days later I was informed of Laura’s death. My heart broke, I broke, and I just wanted to crawl into a deep dark hole where no one could find me. I wanted to die but I couldn’t. I had to be strong for my husband who was fighting his last battle. He died twenty-nine days later. And I had to stay alive for my two sons.

Rod fought for his life. Laura just gave up.

Laura had so much to offer, a beautiful kindhearted woman, but she chose to take her life. All she wanted was to love and be loved, as we all do, and to have her own family. She looked in the wrong place. Mubarak was not for her. She wouldn’t listen to me, but I understood…

13 August 2013, part of an email Laura wrote to me, but she didn’t send it.

“And trusting in Mubarak was the worst mistake of my life, and yes I believe you know that Arabs are not right for me. I really was in a very dark place spiritually and emotionally, and all I could think of was him. Because I really loved him so much, and it killed right into my soul. I was in a very bad place and no one understood what I was going through inside. But that is over. And coming to Portugal and Cyprus is all about making peace with my past, and closure. I can’t explain now but I need you to believe me.”

Rest in peace, my beautiful daughter. You are forever in my heart, and you are in my thoughts every day. I love you.